From The Barn

This page will serve as a dumping ground for the greatest hits of everyone’s favorite overpaid and under-experienced Gopher beat writer. In just one year, he has gone from covering neighborhood forums about feral cats to covering the hottest ticket in town. Find me a better example of the crumbling print-media industry, I dare you. Feel free to add your own or comment plethorically.

Sunday, March 16th, 2008

Smith talked to reporters about Minnesota’s upcoming NIT game while wearing a pair of fancy black shoes.

Good to know.

Saturday, March 15th, 2008

More self-important than CNN during a Tornado in Atlanta. Regarding Blake Hoffarber’s miracle shot:

I’m a part of Minnesota basketball history.

Sure you are…

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

The Boilermakers boast the nation’s youngest starting five with four freshman and a sophomore.

As former Purdue nemesis Lee Corso would say, not so fast my friend. They actually start two freshman, two sophomores and a junior.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Myron writes:

It was easy to see the senior felt invincible from long range.

McKenzie disagrees:

“It was kind of surprising,” he said. “But you know, when you’re in the gym a lot, sometimes you put up shots like that and you play around. And it just happened to go in.”

Saturday. February 17, 2008

Another blog entry, another rough day for Myron

Jason Bohannon probably won’t play against Minnesota this afternoon. He was injured in practice Friday. Bohannon scored a career-high 18 points in a win over Indiana Wednesday.

Bohannon did play, 30 minutes in fact and scored 11 points with 4 rebounds.

but they’re (Gopher coaching staff) clearly weighing whether a Sampson-Iverson front court would work in the Big Ten.

They wouldn’t have recruited the players if they didn’t intend to play them.

I don’t see him (Lawrence Westbrook) as anything more than the fifth member of that guard rotation. I wouldn’t be surprised if he transferred.

Lawrence Westbrook will start most of the season at shooting guard. He is the teams most well rounded player and an excellent defender. In short, Myron is a hack.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

After two paragraphs describing the second half:

In a very familiar place at the start of the second half, Minnesota tried to close the gap that was as many as 11 points.

Sunday, January 28, 2008

Seriously, lay off the acid.

More important, the 19,049 scarlet-clad fans, who collectively looked like a beating heart as they moved hypnotically in support of the Buckeyes

Sunday, January 20th, 2008

Its a bad day of two quotes from the same article. Maybe Spencer Tollackson can teach Myron to be a reporter in exchange for some free throw shooting pointers. And, because sometimes you can’t improve on the words of others, PJS gets full credit for the introduction to Myron’s latest head scratcher:

For those following Myron Medcalf, well, the STrib’s fearless beat reporter decided to make an excuse for not reporting the Nolen injury prior to yesterday’s game instead of actually telling us how bad the injury might be. “Nolen’s absence, caused when he was kneed in his right leg at practice Saturday — unbeknownst to most outside of the team. …” Yes, Myron, that’s why it’s called reporting. It sounds crazy, but sometimes sources don’t go and call reporters every time news breaks. Sometimes, I know it’s insane, sources want to keep information from reporters. Unbeknownst? Were you hoping for a press release, Myron?

Sunday, January 20th, 2008

On the same day that he forgets to mention that Al Nolen won’t being playing because of an injury suffered earlier in the week, he start his game review with:

Al Nolen scored as many points as Goldy Gopher on Sunday afternoon. He had the same number of assists as the announced 14,625 fans at Williams Arena. He finished the game tied with the Gophers cheerleaders, who also had no steals.

Don’t try to be cute.

Tuesday, January 15th, 2008

Because most teams try to lose?

The Hoosiers and Spartans will try to prove their value in this league by beating up on the Gophers at Williams Arena.

Saturday, January 12th, 2007

Secret sources and lying coaches…just three days after Jamal Abu-Shamala’s best game of the season:

On another note, Damian Johnson will start tonight over Jamal Abu-Shamala, according to a key source connected to the program. Although Tubby will apparently start Johnson because Abu-Shamala hurt his hip against Northwestern, my guess is that the coach has finally decided to reward Johnson’s productivity and address Abu-Shamala’s lack thereof.

Wednesday, January 9th, 2007

Today’s grammar challenge: Rewrite the following “sentence” in an understandable way.

But once the Big Ten’s best three-point shooting team — Northwestern made 38.9 percent from the three-point line entering the game, but only made five out of 16 in the first half — cooled off, they couldn’t match a Gophers squad that amplified their own defense and attacked Northwestern’s zone with strong perimeter shooting and physical play in the post.